About Us

Obviously we are writing under aliases, our names are not really Turdy Ferguson and A.Hole.  We are two relatively intelligent, fun, snarky, swearing, and irreverent individuals with combined mortgage and banking experience of 20 years.  

Turdy Ferguson:  Spent about four years in the industry before returning to my roots as an economist.  Yes I said it, I am an economist.  Can you imagine having to tell someone that you were a loan officer and an economist?  If I weren't the least economisty person I know I would probably get punched in the face often for that combination of hideous jobs.  I have a graduate economics degree from George Mason University and my own private economic consulting gig.  I hate the Federal Reserve, I don't trust the government, and I really hate the mortgage industry.  I like Pinot Grigio and getting caught in the rain.

A. Hole:  Has worked in the industry since college and unless you can get me a job doing something else, I am stuck. I make up 80% of the experience figure, go figure.

Us Together:  Despite our rough beginning we are very good friends.  We talk on the phone more than necessary, and more than is probably healthy.  We address one another with the term of endearment, "Hey Fucko", and because we now live over 1,000 miles apart, we send each other pictures from happy hour on our Blackberrys.

Our friendship is a direct result of working for the worst boss ever and a testament to how bat shit crazy people like the Mortgage Devil can create strong bonds between the poor bastards that work for them.   We should probably join a support group for former hostages, we would have tons to talk about.